You jokes

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

What do you call an Indian electrician?

Ashok 😂

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"

What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

What do you call a retard in a house fire?

Flame Retardant.

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.

Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.

Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.

Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?

Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.

Police: ... Child: 😊

Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.

What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?

Vegetable Soup.

You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"

Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."

Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.