You jokes
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
POV: you to nervous to ask your crush out, but then your best friend tells about you to your crush, and then your crush looks at you, and then walks towards you to ask you out, and you say yes.
L: you
You: 😂
What do you call a blind German man?
A Nazi.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
What did the booty say to the chair?
"You complete me!"
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.
"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.