Sexual Assault Jokes

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?

Having to wait your turn.

Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.

Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.

According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.

"Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"

The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.