Sexual Assault

Sexual Assault Jokes

Man

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

Hypocrisy

Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

Rape

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

Rape

Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."

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  • Bill Cosby

    What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

    Rape

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

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  • Guy

    A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

    Pedophile

    A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park.

    "Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate!"

    The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"

    Bill Cosby

    Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

    Football Player

    How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

    When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.

    Rape

    It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

    Sex

    Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

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  • Rape

    I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

    Pedophile

    What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

    How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

    How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

    What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

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  • Sex

    Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

    A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

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