You jokes
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
What do you call a shedding Panera Bread?
Panera Shed.
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
You're so ugly, even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than you!
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!