You jokes

What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?

A Kongregation.

I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?

Seize your moment.

My respect for you didn't just go through the roof, it touched the fucking sun!

You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

What do you call a singer who can't make a song?

Taylor Swift.

When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳

What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?

Why do you need an AR-15?

So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.