You jokes

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

Q: What do you call a clean idiot?

A: Soap on a Dope.

What do you call frozen web?

A web-cicle.

You are the joke.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

You are.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!

If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?

What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

What do you call a fish that can use a katana?

A salmon-rai.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?

A wet pebble.

If water makes you laugh, then jokes make you pee.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?

Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!

Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?

Sorry, still working on it!