You jokes
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"
Looks like they didn't tell their parents.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.