You jokes

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

Are you lightning?

Because you're McQueen.

What do you call roller skates you can walk in?

"Wock n' roll."

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?

Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?

How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?

Cremation.

What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.

What do you call a cold Explain bear?

A brrr.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead.

I’m such a fool.

Why did I fall for you?

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

"Say what you want about the deaf."

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.

What do you call a Japanese car thief?

Tommy took a motor.

What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!