You jokes

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?

Dribble.

How do you punish a blind guy?

You leave a plunger in the toilet.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his casket.

Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.

If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

what do you call a white person having a seizure?

a vanilla shake.

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

What do you call a redneck on fire?

A fire cracker.

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?

A programmer and his wife.

She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."

After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.

The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"

He replies, "They had eggs."

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

What do you call a German lesbian?

A krautmuncher.