You jokes

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?

A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?

Panera Bread.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?

Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.

When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.

😐😑

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.

Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?

Mom: No.

Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his casket.

How do you punish a blind guy?

You leave a plunger in the toilet.

When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.