Pencil Sharpener jokes

I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?

They're both pointless.

Teacher: At the end of this ruler is an idiot.

Student: Which end?

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.