A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? -- She was fed up with the hole business.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy
I teach orphans But the problem is I can't give them home work
A friend called me a while back say "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing". I reply saying " Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes".
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
I don’t orphans work at dollar tree?cause it’s a family business
God my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
What do orphans and police not have in common
The police can actually go home
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
She said you can twerk so I put her in a tractor and put her to work, she got mad at me and said "there's no good men" but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive. I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked "How is that supposed to work?". I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
I respect anyone who devotes there life to charity work
But I think Paul walker went a step to far
I work with animals!! What do you do? I’m a butcher
