Work

Work jokes

Orphanage

  • I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

    Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.

    Doctor

  • A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

    The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

    The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

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  • Milkman

  • A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.

    The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.

    The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.

  • 0
  • Job

  • Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

  • 1
  • Office

  • A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.

    A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"

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  • Dishwasher

  • Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

    I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

  • 2
  • Dye

  • I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

    Comment

  • You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

    Woman

  • How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.

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