Work Jokes

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!

so one day a boy was at his dads work when another little boy ran in crying then the dad said aw little boy are you lost wheres your parents and the little boy at his dads work said OMG! dad you cant say that! why cant he say that?

Answer: He works at an Orphanage.

The cop that is on a 12 o clock shift says hands up

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras but then I heard popping behind me

Why does elephants never get rich? because they work for penuts!

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say "Tell me if you can hear me", then get in the trunk and start screaming.

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets. He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener - pushing up the daisies!

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

My attempts in 2019,2020 and 2021!

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed

why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.

Why did the rapper go to the gym?

To work on his FLEX RHYMES

It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.