Wordplay jokes
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
The S in America stands for safe.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'
I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'
I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.