Wordplay jokes
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
I just shed my pants.
Dolly (DYM 79).
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Knock knock. Who's there? Apaches. Apaches who? Apaches on your eye.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
What is Hitler's least favorite month? Jewly.
George Floyd is the fresh prince of no air.