What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What flowers are on your face?
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
The S in America stands for safe.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
