Wordplay jokes
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
What do tomatoes š learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
Memes
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldnāt stand anyone...
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
What was Jesus's favorite sport?
Lacrosse.
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
What do you call an under-the-weather seven?
A sick seven.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."