Wordplay jokes
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.