Wordplay jokes
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? The exylo-bone!
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Robyn Olive in 10.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.