Wordplay jokes

How do you make an octopus laugh?

You give it ten tickles.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Confucius say:

"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

What do you call a pig with no legs?

A groundhog.

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A stego-sore-ass.