Wordplay jokes

Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?

What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.

Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?

Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

Person 2: OMg!

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"

What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? The exylo-bone!

What do you call a clever clock?

Clockwise.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Apaches.

Apaches who?

Apaches on your eye.

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?

The New York Jets.

Robyn Olive in 10.

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?

A kindergarden.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.