Wordplay jokes

What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?

Anarexic.

- I think you're EGGcellent.

+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

- Really? Are you done yet?.

+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

I make science puns, but only periodically.

How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).

How does Jesus make tea?

Hebrews it.

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at 3 hoes.

Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!

Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."

What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?

"Stand" Ford University. :3

What did the two paintings say after a long battle?

Let's call this one a draw.

Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

Dad: "Yes, we arson."

What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?

They both leave you hanging.

When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.

I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.

What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball.

Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.

I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."

What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!

What skeleton does Crap-ton of?

A "bone".