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I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."

Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!

#HOMIEZ4Life

P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"

  • 5

    • What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

    So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

    The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

  • 5

    • Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

    Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

    Boobless.