Women jokes
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Which is better looking, girls or women?
Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
Women’s rights.