Women jokes

I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.

Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have another pair of balls.

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.

What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.

What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

Which is better looking, girls or women?

Why do they call it abortion? Because they aborted the mission.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Why should old women never eat seafood?

'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

What separates snowmen from snow-women?

Snow balls.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Why do women get periods?

Just cancel the subscription.

What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?

Why is it that skinny men love fat women?

Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.