Women jokes
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Women were flying the plane.
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"