Women jokes

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

Why do women get periods?

Just cancel the subscription.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Girls: 🙏 *Period* ✍️💅

Men: 🗿 *Growth* 🗿🗿🗿

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

What separates snowmen from snow-women?

Snow balls.

What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Women’s rights.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.

What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?

A puppy, you dirty monkey!

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?

At least gorillas don't abort their own.

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

Girls are like stones.

The flat ones get skipped.

When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.