Women jokes

I like my women like my family, they’re related.

Why should a feminist never be allowed to join the UAW United Auto Workers?

Because the only thing that a feminist will do in the UAW United Auto Workers, is eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom and she will only pay her membership dues, if she is allowed to eat pussy all day inside the women's restroom.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.

Me: I will rape you!

Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!

Why do women be like this?

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.

A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."

Men.

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No.

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.

Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?

Who cares?

I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.

Why are women like diapers?

They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.

There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.

Okay, when I leave for ONE DAY something happens like people being sexist and men saying that women are weak (Which is Not True), AND rape. I hate hearing and really saying the word. Just stop with all this nonsense. I say rape and sexist and woman assault jokes should not be allowed. They are too cruel and mean to women. Most men are weaker than women. So don't anyone make anymore things or "jokes" about rape. Women are strong and don't be mean to them.

Sincerely, watersharky (How did I not misspell????)

I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.

What do women and moldy bread have in common?

A yeast infection.