Woman jokes
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them!
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Lesbian stands for:
L: Loving
E: Extra
S: Shitty
B: Bitches
I: I
A: Am attracted to
N: Nice girls.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.