Woman jokes
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What is the best way to pick up a woman from the bar?
Spike her drink with roofies.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
What do women and wine bottles have in common?
They both have necks for grabbing, and holes to plug and unplug.
Woman do have rights!
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."