Woman jokes
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Big mummy milkers...
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
Why woman?
Hippity hoppity, women are property.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.