I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
whats the difference between my arm and my stomach???? my stomach isnt ripped
Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats" but none of them touch the man's penis and say "weII done"
Why did the lemon š go to the doctor š©āāļø?
Because he had a sour stomach.
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage
Whybare there no pharmacies in Africa? Because you can't have medicine on a empty stomach.
Fatty told Skinyy "Do you have any food my stomach is empty and I haven't eaten" Skinny replied to Fatty "Well doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead"
My therapist once said, 'time heals all wounds' So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
Why am I still alive? Pills give me stomache, blood makes faint, height frightens me...
what did the policeman say to his belly button?
YOU'RE UNDER A VEST
Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach ?
Stop eating caterpillars
Why can't people in africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Why did the orphan start crying
Because his apple found a home in his stomach
Why is there no chemists in Africa? Because you canāt take tablets on an empty stomach
Why donāt I shut myself all the time. I can only fit so many pares of kid in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 17 stomachs you stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat NBA youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek
