A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! Thats not going to help!” She said. “Sure it does.” he said. “Its the only way i can see the numbers.”

Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:… You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach

What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach ?

Stop eating caterpillars

There were three babies in a moms stomach. One baby asks, “what do you want to be when you grow up” The other baby answers, “a doctor I want to help people, what about you” “I want to be an engineer, I want to make things, what about you” he asks to the third baby. “I want to be a hunter”. “Why” the other babies ask. “I want to kill the snake that spits on my face”

YO MAMA SO FAT, NASA USED HER STOMACH TO JUMP TO URANUS IN SECONDS . 🍐🍆

They say that “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “weII done”

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What is 1 + 1? They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.

Why doesn’t Africa have pharmacies? Because you can’t take drugs on an empty stomach.