Woman jokes
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
Why woman?
Hippity hoppity, women are property.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.