Woman jokes
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."
"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"
Which is better looking, girls or women?
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.
Gwen pegs Xavier.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.