Asswald
in Morbid jokes

A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.

The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?”

She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.”

The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?”

The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!”

“That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?”

The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…”

Comments (66)

Weird. I thought only I did this...

I almost died laughing when I saw this XD

What a bunch of dicks.

This bitch is violent

Ack!

HAHA

By far the best one!

Read this in school and was kicked out for disturbing the classroom with my laughter.

Me and my friend died of laughter😂

I came to this website by accident but HOLY shit these stories are great!! 🤣🤣

I see what you did there. XD

The pee helps the flowers

Fuck

Hahaha

JUST TAKE MY CASH!!!!!! 😣

What’s she going to do with them...?

PsychoticGrandma, shes gonna shove them up...... you know what.. XD

That is weird because the old lady chopped their d***s off wt*****

oh dear

the old lady is gonna us them as toys XD

This old lady is defending herself know what I am completely fine with what she is doing

That story is making me hard. Just imagine what that sexy gilf is gonna do with all of those dicks.

@Granny F*cker Hahaha

Well sh*t good job granny

@Granny F*cker prolly gonna put some wood or something in them so they can be hard and then use them as dildos.

Why don’t you just fill that hole with wood?

Hahahaha! The other bag is filled with penises!!🤣🤣

dang ahahahaha

@Boobs cause she want some free bootleg dildos lol

i fucking love this joke

are you fuu***uuu***cking high

nooooo I’m dying!!!

I felt that when I saw this OUCH!

Bru... this joke is a year old and I still laugh as hard every time I read it

lol

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

I’m so airdropping this to my class lol

okay to say that - once, I tried to say, “ps. pp. that’s funny right there”. instead, I said, you guessed it, "penis"! PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!

then EAT THE PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow

why doesn't the old lady go and die in a hole with her d**ks and money

OMFG i almost died laughing. first off i'm on page 59 of this website and yes if your about to ask i have no life however this is my favourite joke so far.

grammar much? lol

Weird?????

I wanna steal this but at the same time I don't

OMGGG

It’s funny how we all are on here💀

GOSH that was so funny but also very crude

WTF!? This is amazing and I told my parents and they said it sounded fun so...

yoooooooooooo

I should do that to my brother's every time they get on my nerves

Me: in class Teacher: lookes over

talk about private property

Why does this sound like something my mom would do-

I'm back! it's been a whole year since I last visited worstjokesever.com to have something to laugh at between classes. Within that year, I tried to make a comic sheet about this joke in one of my stories. Unfortunately, I can't draw a comic person or a comic pair of hedge clippers, so I drew a bunch of stick people and a pair of stick hedge clippers in the comic sheet instead. in one of the sacks, I even drew a PP or two sticking out of the sack on the right of the person holding the sacks!

Mines to small

That's horriable

She should put her behind against the fence hole and when they put it through to know what happens

inappropriate

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。*゚.*.。(っ ᐛ )っ✂╰⋃╯

you stole this from https://www.thecoolist.com/dark-humor-jokes/

Pee doesn't do anything to flowers

What would she do with all of those??🤔

I died and my parents caught me reading it but dam