Woman

Woman Jokes

πŸ€” 😳 😫 πŸ˜• What do you πŸ“ž πŸ€” 😏 πŸ˜„ 😜 πŸ€” 😏 call physically handicapped β™Ώ homophobic heterosexual men and woman in wheelchairs? β™Ώ mixed nuts πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ€ͺ 😜 πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘©

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, β€œI’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”

β€œNo,” the woman replied. β€œI’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”

A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.

"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.

"Denise."

"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"

"Tom Junior."

Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly. I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking but she said she didn't want any. When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractiveπŸ’€

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "did you see that?" She says "yes", so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks "did you see that?" "No but my wife did!" The husband said.