What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
π€ π³ π« π What do you π π€ π π π π€ π call physically handicapped βΏ homophobic heterosexual men and woman in wheelchairs? βΏ mixed nuts π€ͺ π π€ͺ π π€ͺ π π€ͺ π π€ͺ π π€ͺ π π€ͺ π π€ͺ π π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π© π¨ π©
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts youβre left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
do you wanna know how I recently seduced and obese woman, actually it was a piece of cake
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boyβs testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boyβs testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, βIβve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?β
βNo,β the woman replied. βIβm with the Internal Revenue Service.β
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
I would never slap a woman, then Iβd be destroying property
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly. I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking but she said she didn't want any. When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
q: what are women better than men at doing
a: winning arguments
q: what are men better than women at doing
a: winning swimming titles
What did the headless horseman say to the woman? give me head