Win jokes
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!
Would you like to win 100k?
Comment on my next video for a chance to win!
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
Bonnie Blue's son could win a science fair just by participating.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
The Gold Coast Titans winning the NRL. Best joke ever.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?
- To win
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?
A food fight and a water fight!