New Win Jokes

were gonna have to kill

no good jack and jill

they’re draining the economy doooown!

they’ve spent our budget on weed

and lube to spill jack’s seed

they’ve ruined our wonderful town!

were gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill

they have no moralityyyy

they’re spreading degeneracy

we aint what we used to be

we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill!

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water

but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana

they went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers

next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years

we’re gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill!

they’ve banked off buying boooze!

they’ll drink and sell the price

at the original times thrice

corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.

we’re gonna have to kill

nno good jack and jill

their kids’re in the business tooo!

they’re draining all our banks

give em well deserved spanks

we’ve got to kill ol no good jack and jill

jack and jill netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaaake

what a blunder, there was no rubber, now

they’re a house of eeiiight

a bolt went off, they opened shop

to resell their porn and lean

it all went swell, but for us, well

we’re now an oligarchy!

WE’LL KILL OL JACK AND JILL!

How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?

By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!

"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

Why do butts always win at poker?

They always hold the best PAIRS

Why don’t butts ever win at cards?

Too many FARTS

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Mr.beast challenge in Memphis be like last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars

How do you win an argument against an emo kid? Give him a gun he'll just shot himself

Steps to win a nerf war Step 1. Take out nerf bullets Step 2. Load hollow points Step 3. Win

What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?

A food fight and a water fight!

my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.

my grandma always said, slow and steady wins the race. she died in a fire.

Why do emos suck at playing tic tac toe on their wrists? Because when they win they lose.

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun? Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

After having a win at bingo Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea..... During the meal her daughter asked her mum what it was to which she replied with a little smile...'Its what I call your father'... Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin 'Oh My God Dont eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!

What two fights can Africa never win? A food fight and a water fight.

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".