Win jokes
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
We will win the war! 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.