Germany: As long as America stay out of the war we should win. Japan: *bombing pearl harbour* Cowabunga It Is!!
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?
A food fight and a water fight!
Why do emos suck at playing tic tac toe on their wrists? Because when they win they lose.
What two fights can Africa never win? A food fight and a water fight.
What war did the black community win
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore? Because all the Mexicans that can run swim or jump are already here.
yo mama so stupid she joined the squid game as a sea life lover bc she thought it was a game of whoever catches the most octopuses wins
why cant an orphan win a baseball game? Because they can't reach home
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Slow and steady wins the race
who did a barber win a race . he knew a short cut.
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus
Who would win? The laws of the catholic church which have been affective for over 900 years
one horny henry
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
How did the retard win the break dancing competition? He saw flashing lights
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded
Stephan hawking always wins musical chairs as he’s always sitting down
why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? so he could win the race.
