Will jokes

Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

Your hairline got pulled back. You look like you've been climbing Chris, and you got smacked up by Will Smith.

"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."

- Sun Tzu

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around, I will fist you anytime.

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.

What does Joyce do on a Saturday night?

Netflix and Will? Will? WILL!? WIIIILLLL?

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."