Will jokes

Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.

Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"

No one wants him, not even the bees.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?

"Full House".

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

Who will join if I make a WJE Discord server?

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

A black cat will be racist next.

You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.

Karen walks into McDonald's.

Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??

Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!

Lady at the counter: yes miss.

Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.

Lady at the counter: *sweats*

Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!

Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.