Will jokes
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Cops have the hardest job: they have to tell women they have the right to remain silent and know damn well she will not have the ability.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."