Why jokes

Duck

    • A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."

  • 4

    • Grenade

    • There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

    Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

  • 2

    • Cremation

    • Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

    To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

  • 0
    • Why memes

    Lab

    • Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

    Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

    In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

  • 3

    • Family

    • Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

    Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

    Son: Yes, why?

    Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

  • 2

    • Infant

    • Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

    Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

  • 9

    • Grasshopper

    • A grasshopper jumps into a bar.

    The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."

    The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"

  • 1