Why jokes
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Why did the child throw the butter out of the window?
So she could see a butterfly.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the "mic drop" was too high!
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.