Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
Why Jokes
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why did the orphan sleep outside? ... Because he gets to wake up to Mother Nature.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
