Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ̈I want h20” the other said ̈ I want h20 too ̈ The second scientist died.
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said Na Br O
What if your Corona Test is neutral?
A Piece of Sodium That Lived in a Test Tube Fell in Love With a Bunsen Burner "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!" The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
A women brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and request further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his had and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs of quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, my beloved hamster is dead. "I'm sorry for your loss", the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars" says the vet. "what? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
All real chemists knows that alcohol is always a solution. I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
feeling stressed? have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures the results come back
UNKNOWN
What do you call two emo's in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
three scientists are doing an experiment, they are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephants ass. in the lab they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. the monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass and the scientists wait three weeks.
the monkey pulls out the cork and all three scientists go back and discus what they saw. the first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown then it all went black, the second, standing two miles away, said the same, the third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
