Why jokes
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Memes
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?
So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.