Why jokes
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Why can't Asians make a white baby?
Cause two wongs don't make a white.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.