Why jokes
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Memes
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.