Why jokes
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Why did the shark spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?