Why jokes
Why is time important? To not be late.
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?
Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
Why was 10 so scared?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they ate the bat!
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"