Whos jokes

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.

What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?

Klaustrophobic.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Dishes."

"Dishes who?"

"Dishes a bad joke."

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

Who wins?

Society.

What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?

The Who?

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?

He totally kilt her.

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"

The boy said, "No, I don't know."

She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"

The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"

She said to him, "No, who is she?"

He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."

The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.

Why can't Sally swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.

Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?

Everywhere.

What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor/tooter.