Whos jokes

Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c—

MOO!

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?

R. Kelly.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

Why did Michael Joseph Jackson cross the road? To get away from the parents of the boys who stayed in his house, and to go to a store where boys' underwear was 1/2 off.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?

The Who?

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.

Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.

There are people weirder looking than me.

Like who?

Like people with Down syndrome.

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.