When jokes

What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?

Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝

One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.

When you find out your great grandpa killed Hitler.

When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...

Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

Why are orphans lucky?

Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.

The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.

What did the beach say when the tide came in?

"Long time no sea."

What happens when a cow masturbates?

Beef jerky.

When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"