When jokes
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?
The grass was tickling his balls.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
"What do we want?" "HEARING AIDS!" "When do we want them?" "HEARING AIDS!"
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.