When jokes
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
Memes
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.