When jokes

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?

Answer: You shoot it!

What did the bee say to the flower?

"Hey bud! When do you open?"

What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?

Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!

When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"

What happens when animals do a squat?

It doesn't become pretty...

The patient said, "When will this be over?"

The doctor said, "After you die."

The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"

The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."

The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"

What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?

"What hap-HENd?"

When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What did the pig say when he was in the sun?

I'm bacon.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

What does a car have when it's very itchy?

A road rash.

What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?

Can't elope.