When jokes
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
Memes
wtf is this wifi
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
They ordered pepperoni and got ✈️.
If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!
What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?
A LightBulbasaur.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.