When jokes

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"

When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.

Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.

His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?

A blast from the past!

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?

Because they want to feel wanted.

What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?

"Jenga!"