When jokes

What did the orphan do when he got punched?

Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...

... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!

When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

Roses are red, grass is greener.

When I think of you, I play with my weiner.

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?

Juan on Juan.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?

A family portrait/A selfie.

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!