When jokes
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Memes
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.
When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗
When you're from Arkansas, you know! Door!
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌
When do you go to the store?
UVUALA!!!!!
When are you from Alabama? You know!!! 🐩
Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
Why tie when you can knot?