When jokes
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
Roses are red, grass is greener.
When I think of you, I play with my weiner.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."