When jokes

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?

Good question.

What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?

Panera misled.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”

Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.

You have a father figure.

What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?

Panera bloodshed.

What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?

Panera Behead.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

Why did the dwarf laugh when he walked on the field?

The grass was tickling his balls.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.